Bob,Sharon, Shadi's, and Toddi's Excellent September Adventures!

Stay tuned! This page is STILL under construction! We have LOTS to share about Bob's steady progress. I'll add text later - just wanted to get some good pics of the Bob and Friendout!

Meet Shadi, Toddi, and the Bob!

Hi there!

We thought you might want to see a picture of the newest members of our household: Shadi (my twin), and Toddi (little Hot Toddi Corkrum), our new cairn terrier. Yes, the first photo is of Bob with my twin and Toddi.

Oh, in case I didn't tell you, my twin has 20 years of special education background. Guess what? Many of her students were also aphasic and apraxic. How seredipitous! God works in mysterious ways! Anyways, we're a good tag team. I get Bob up, showered, dressed and fed and then hand him over to Shadi. She shuttles him to OT, PT, ST AND then teaches him the rest of the day. AND, she gives him OT and walks him in Lowes. She keeps the house neat and tidy (including laundry). Then, we trade off when I get home and I cook dinner, clean up, get Bob ready for bed and prepare Bob's bathroom for his morning shower (non-skid mats, towels, bench, scrubbers, shaver, waterpik, toothbrush), lay out his clothes in the sequence in which he dresses, and set the table for breakfast so that he can serve himself. (Everything has to be prepared for one-hand use.) We have a pretty workable system - I get up at 5:30 and we're dressed and downstairs by 6:50 am. Did you notice that I said downstairs? YES! Bob is able to go up and down the stairs with an escort (me or Shadi).

Toddi joined our family the day after Josh took his dog back to New York. I was so sad and just a tearful mess. So my sisters, the Witches of East Highland, did their thing and found Toddi through a cairn rescue. She's two and simply adorable and yes! She is the queen of the house. Somehow, she seems to know that Bob is injured. She barks when he gets out of bed and I'm not close by and she follows him when he walks around the house.Toddi loves her some Bob and Shadi. So do I!

Here's a photo of Bob with Jeanie and Shadi (2 sisters out of 3).

Enough for now! Bob's sawing logs and I need to get ready for tomorrow, but stay tuned! I have lots to tell you about Bob's adventures and progress. I promise to be more current. Thank you all for your cards, emails, calls, shout-outs. We realllllllllly love them and appreciate them. I'm sorry for not getting back to you but know that I love hearing from you.

Warmly,

Sharon and the Bob . . . with Shadi :) (Can you tell us apart?)

Why Me? Who Knows? (video of Bob walking)

Dear Friends and Fambly,

You're probably wondering where we've been???? Sorry, we've had some major changes in our lives and that's kept us pretty busy--too tired to write. I returned to work on August 31. WHAT? You know the song, "We work hard for the money??" Well, while money isn't the end, it does pay the bills and provides insurance and we are very grateful that my company allowed me to stay home with Bob this long. It was a very difficult decision since Bob is still in the initial phase of his recovery and I couldn't have done this if my twin hadn't moved in to take over Bob's caregiving, speech, OT and PT during the day. Bob and I are forever indebted to Shadi and Dr. Bill Letson for allowing Shadi to take a "leave of absence" from your home in Korea to help us.

Yes, my twin, Shadi finally arrived! She flew in on a westerly and settled in a little over a month ago to help me with the Bob while I returned to work. Thank God, she's here. Two things: caregiving is HUGE (who knew) AND the quiet in the house all day, except for my being "nagging teacher" and my mindless nattering (which was beginning to annoy me, let alone, the Bob) is overwhelmingly quiet. I'm used to making ALOT of noise and having Bob at least say "um hum" or "let's think about it, Sharon", or anything to acknowledge my deeply philosophical nonsensical observations.

Shadi's presence and work with Bob has made the world of difference for us. Before her arrival, I felt like I was holding my breath every day, waiting for this bad "movie" to be over. I was so sad and though I really, really tried to be happy and upbeat, my heart and soul was heavy. I missed my old Bob, I missed everything that was. Okay, well maybe there were a couple of things I didn't miss like taxes, but I did miss almost everything else. You see, although small miracles occurred every day, when you're deep into recovery and caregiving work, we couldn't see them clearly, and my oh my, it felt like we were moving at a snail's pace.

Speech is still Bob's challenge (or pain). We are so hopeful and positive, however, because he is generating more language. It is still difficult and my heart aches as he struggles to find the words. Before Shadi arrived, he couldn't stick with a thought or find words. Shadi works with Bob for 2.5 hours of intensive speech/language aphasia and apraxia treatment and OMG, what a HUGE difference! When she arrived, he mostly said "yes" and "no". Well, now, he is learning to string words to make sentences. And guess what? Bob and I have meaningful conversations every night when I tuck him in bed. It isn't the style of conversations that we had before the stroke, but it's way more than yes/no. I'll lie beside him and hold hands in the dark and we talk, really talk, about our feelings and memories. I cherish those 20-30 minutes every night!Now, he'll try to work around the words until he finds what he wants to say. The other night he asked me, "Why me?" and honestly, I didn't have a good answer except what he would have said to me, "There is no good answer. I don't know why it happened to you, to us. It is what it is so we just have to deal with it." But I would be lying if I didn't say that I had to fight to hold back tears.

Here are a few Bobisms:

• Upon my commenting that he seems to be speaking a little more and asking to what he would attribute the change, he said, "I would cite Shadi".
• Today, in response to my blubberings about missing the dog, Bob said, "I am sad but I am all out of tears."

PT and OT are still going fabulously: His PT has him walking without a cane during PT. It's scary for him but he just trusts and does. I love him so much for his wonderful spirit.

Oops! Have to start dinner. More later!

Bob Speaks!

To all of Bob's Friends and Family:

Spontaneous recovery of speech following a stroke is a miracle to behold!  Bob's brain's language center is beginning to awaken and daily we see improvement in his speech production.   He attends Speech Sessions once or twice a week with the rehab therapists, BUT he has 5 days of 2.5 hours intensive language with me daily and I'm here to tell you that he is making positive progress.  He is immersed in a language and laughter rich environment with ALL of the sisters here now and while WE have to be conscious to speak slowly and to allow Bob lots of opportunities to speak (this is real work with the Chambers sisters constantly talking, but we're working on it), we have noticed more from Bob each day.  He, of course, doesn't see the difference because he wants to have full, deep, philosophical discussions and conversations, but those days will come and they'll come soon, I know because there is no order of difficulty in miracles.  The other thing is that once he returns to those professional, philosophical or political conversations he'll have to find other speaking buddies, because we like to talk about beauty products, shoes, hair, cosmetics, etc., and those other subjects are Oh-so-boring to us mental lightweights.   But for now, he's learning a lot about girl stuff.  And yes, we let Bob get in words in between the female verbal din.  I wanted to share with you all some newsworthy, unadulterated, Bobisms spoken by the Bob over the past week:

After breakfast and before going to therapy:    "I desire to have my hair coiffed".

In response to a question he didn't understand:  "Perdone?"

When his answer is "no", be begins his statement with "Au contrair".

To Jeff walking around while all were waiting for him to sit so we could begin to eat dinner:     "Jeff, I wish you'd get off your .... high horse".

Upon being rudely awakened from slumber and noticing that Sharon and Izumi were not in sight:    "Is Sharon's dog alright?"

When I asked Bob if he needed anything:  "Yes, I would like a drink".

Following a particularly tedious session with the Rehab Speech/Language Path at Loma Linda and on the drive home:   "Shadi, I would like to vacate -- no -- postpone our speech today and play games".  (We have speech on top of speech but games sounded more fun!)

To the particularly tedious rehab speech path who wouldn't stop perseverating about 'root crops -- potatoes, beets, carrots, etc.':  "I wish you would get off of that".  (I was thinking the same).

In response to Sharon's enquiry about her uncombed hair style:  "It sucks".

In response to Sharon's greeting to Bob 'Hi pee pee':  "Hi doo-doo".

To his Angels, the physical therapist and occupational therapist:  "I just want to tell you thank you for everything."

So, Bob  is beginning to initiate speech -- slowly, yes, but more each day.  These are Bob's words spoken in context, semantically and syntactically correct, and with no prompting! Hooray! Your prayers are helping.  I see Sharon regaining trust in the Universe as she observes the miracles of Bob's recovery and I see Bob regaining his sense of self and confidence that he is recovering.   Their love for each other is undeniably beautiful and healing for both of them.

They spent the weekend relaxing with Saturday being a day of beauty and spa -- two hours of massage and range of motion for Bob and hanging out at the resort pool with the family including Terry Taco who is a wonderful support for Sharon and Bob.   Thank you to all who continue to support and love my twin and brother-in-law.  We couldn't do it without you.

Yes, Bob, It's Really August!

Dear Friends, The last week was a yo-yo week for us - lots of ups and downs. Bob is recognizing that progress is s-l-o-w in coming (it's only been 3.75 months but feels like a lifetime). He's walking short distances with his single point cane but his therapist told him that she 

wants to break a habit that's starting (a limp) and that he'll need to strengthen his right hip and practice form on the walker again (he doesn't want to go back to the walker). He saw that as a back step and coupled with negligible (in his eyes) improvement in 

speech, he was disheartened and broke down for the first time since his stroke and that made me cry too. I can only imagine if it was me who was going through this and I couldn't talk and how I'd react (a raging crazy woman).

     The good news is that Shadi arrived and is helping me and she's supplementing his speech lessons daily (he was tired of me) so god-willing, we will see bigger changes. He just needs a few miracles in speech and soon!

     PT and OT are going strong and he's making big progress (I've included a couple of pictures from his therapies):

• Bob walked up and down a flight of 17 stairs not just once, but twice during PT. I was a wreak and exhausted for him.
  
• He is learning to do "fall recovery" (get up from the ground). More exhausting! Shadi needed a nap after witnessing that.
  
• He's getting more movement from his biceps and triceps -small but important. They're reviving! 
  
• You can see that his new hand/arm brace arrived and that helps to flex his hand so that the hands and fingers won't freeze.
  
• Bob getting his first drink of water from the water fountain at OT (with lots of assistance, of course).  
• Putting his arm around me for the first time in 3 months. We (Bob, his OT, Shadi, and I) all burst out crying at that accomplishment.  
• Bob opening a cupboard door (with assistance, but still a first).
  

     

After that peak and valley week, I figured we needed happy times and hauled him down to my sister's (in San Diego) for the weekend where he got two massages, which I think, uplifted his spirits. (He did say that the best part of the weekend was "getting on the mat" and he invited Jeanie up to our place and told her to bring the mat.) We went to dinner on Coronado on Friday night and saw fireworks on the bay and then to dinner in La Jolla on Saturday night. Oh yes, Bob was a wreak from my driving--and I mean an anxious mess! Go figure? The Witches of East Highland (my sisters) are super (as you can see in the photos). Sonia is demonstrating the new Hoyer lift (how we get Bob in and out of their pool. Whoo-hoo!

      I'm grateful for his resilience. He just pulls it back together and takes another step forward.  Please, please, pray for his speech to improve ALOT and SOON!  Pray for speech recovery!

Love to all,

Sharon

Bob and Sharon's Excellent July Adventures!

Dear Friends, 

     Ok, so the photos make it look like all we do is play! If only that was true. Bob's treatment schedule is grueling and demanding for both of us. So, we're trying to make sure that we balance (what, did I say balance????) hard work with hard play on weekends. We're trying to normalize our lives as much as we can. 

     So what's happened in July? Well, Bob made lots of progress in PT and OT:

• Bob progressed from the walker to a single point cane and he's learning how to walk with his head up, shoulders back, and keeping his knee bent so that his gait will look natural. He wears a gait belt with me so that I can intervene safely given his size. 
• Bob was fitted for a special, custom-made foot/leg brace that will articulate his foot and help him not to hyperextend his knee. He was also fitted for a new hand brace that will flex his fingers and wrist.
• Bob walked up and down stairs . . . including the stairs in our home for the first time in 3 months. The physical therapist came to the house and taught him to walk up and down the stairs. We have to wait to practice on our own until the new handrails go up this week, but Jeff Hinkley is on that one! Once they're up, we'll be able to move into our own bedroom. Whoo-hoo!
• We went to the Ahmanson Theater and saw Spamalot! Can you believe it? Bob was a real trooper and said that he'd try an adventure (scary when we have to figure accessibility and bathroom stops).  So when Josh and James came to visit, we got rooms at the LA Marriott after therapy so that Bob could nap and wouldn't have to withstand the play and a long trip home. We even went to dinner before the theater at our favorite little bistro at the Music Center (photos included). What a treat! We both felt like we really got away, even for a night! And Bob said it was "wonderful!"
• Bob's long-lost, newly-found older brother and wife came for a visit from Minnesota. (See picture.) They got to see Bob in action at PT and OT - - he's such a survivor! Thank goodness his brother is also a man of few words so they got along well. 
• Bob walked on the cane in public for the first time to my father's 79th birthday party and he sang happy birthday to my dad! My dad was soooo happy to see his buddy!
• I ordered a Hoyer lift so that we can get Bob in/out of the pool easier/safer. Jeff installed it in their pool so that Bob and I can have pool days. Of course, Jeff, Josh, and James wanted to to catapult Bob into the pool! HA!
• We went to San Clemente and had breakfast with dear friends, Tom and Bonnie. Tom had a similar stroke 10 years ago and is fully recovered, so it was so good for us to share. 
• Believe me, I have my moments of despair so we look to those before us who've made it through, so I know we will make it.  

 

Speech is still Bob's hardest recover and source of frustration and sadness. He works at it so hard and struggles to express language. He's told me that he "just wants to be able to have a conversation".  He is very self conscious. Please pray for his full recovery, especially in speech! And I just miss talking with him about everything. It's so hard but we just have to believe that he will be able to have conversations again.

    Friends, thank you for your patience and continued support and words of encouragement. Although I don't have time to respond personally to each of you, know that I/We appreciate your "reach out and touch". Thank you for remembering us and keeping us in your prayers and thoughts. (Guy, Gail, Gaby, Dianne P., et.al, thank you, thank you!) We plan to rejoin the land of the living and reconnect as soon as we can. 

Much love to all, 

Harvey/Drolet-Sharing Adventures - July 26, 2009

     Tom and I were part of Bob and Sharon's great Adventure. We met Sharon and Bob at Cafe Mimosa in San Clemente on Saturday for lunch. Bob walked to our outside table with his cane and a little help from Sharon. He ate and cut his food by himself. Tom was on his right, so as Tom cracked jokes about pushy and unrelenting wives, Bob had to turn and respond - usually just with a look or laugh.
     That left me to ask the tough questions, which of course I did. No use letting my experience with Tom's stroke in 1997 go to waste. Bob did very well. 

     He needs lots of time and patience to answer, but he does answer! Of course, I wouldn't let him change the subject as he tried to manipulate away from answering. He answered several questions:
What is the easiest? "The easiest is walking."
What is the hardest? "The hardest is speaking."
Sharon asked him what she was wearing on her eyes and he could not retrieve "eyeglasses" so she gave him the starter, " I need these to see, they are my _______" and he filled in the word glasses. 

     Try not to give him options like ABC choices as he is very good at repeating what you say. Ask him open ended questions.
I also asked "what is the weather like today?" After giving me a withering look that said "we're sitting outside, can't you see for yourself?" He answered that it was cooler than home. This took a long time, but he can do it!!! He needs to reconnect his brain centers, so it will take relentless practice. We were together for 2 hours and Bob was included in questions, comments, and ordering his own food. Sharon is wonderful, but bossy!! But we all know that when she puts her mind to something it happens and thank heavens for that! Bob is lucky to have her dedication and love through this period of time. Tom doesn't admit it often, but he told Sharon that she is doing exactly what I did for him and that is what made him get well. He told her to keep it up - Bob of course made a face! Don't you just love him?

Bonnie Drolet & Tom Harvey