Oh the Places We Did Go!

Photo-Sharon and Bob at Mu Restaurant - Our First Date!
The weekend was incredible!

Friday, June 5 - After Bob's nap on Friday, he told me that he "wanted to go uptown". My anxiety level rose slightly (alot, really) thinking that we were going to have a repeat of shopping, but I put on my brave face and playing 20 yes/no questions (do you mean Stater Brothers? Target? Walmart? etc), I finally said, "you'll have to show me where uptown is because I don't have a clue what uptown is except in Manhattan." I'm game for new experiences if Bob is. So, I loaded Bob, the dog, and the chair into the car, (oh yeah!) and he would tell me directions, "right, left, straight" and even a few, "at the next corner, make a right; left/right lane" (can you believe all this from El Lorpo?) and we ended up in front of his favorite Thai restaurant in Redlands. So I asked, "Bob, did you want to go to Mu (aka, Rama Gardens)?" and he haltingly said, "yes. This will be a date to remember". (to which I almost wrecked the car because any statement more than "yes/no" is a miracle, no joke!) So, I told the owners Bob directed me to their restaurant for our first AS (after-stroke) date and they made room for us (restaurants are not set up for wheelchairs and people with right neglect). Get this, Bob read the menu without my help and picked out his favorite entrees and they prepared everything salt-free.

Now, I would be lying if I said that Bob can read and speak fluently, he can't and language retrieval is still extremely difficult with mostly yes/no responses. We spend alot of his waking time practicing speech and he's not loving it and sometimes I feel like Helen Keller's Annie Sullivan (Teacher). But, I kid you not! He tried to talk to me that night and I wanted to know what it's like for him when he's listening or trying to talk. I asked him if he understood everything I said and he said, "I understand most things." When I asked him what it was like at the beginning of his stroke, (He laughed when I asked if all he heard was blah, blah, blah), he said, "I did not get details." Anyway, although we didn't talk alot, we just enjoyed each other's company and were very glad to be together. So we held hands and all that. Yes, it was a date to remember! We were both so HAPPY!!!!!

At home, we work on appropriate etiquette behaviors: when/which/how to use utensils, because of his apraxia. He's getting much better at choosing utensil for food but what I'm also noticing is that Bob is adding a new strategy: hewatches to see what we're going to do and tries to model himself after. Pretty remarkable!

Saturday & Sunday, June 6 & 7 - We went to the early matinees and saw Star Trek and Angels and Demons respectively. Yes, we did! And then I would ask comprehension questions, like, which movie did you like better? Why? Who were the main characters? Which one did you like best? Why? Teaching and learning never stop and we're on a mission!

In addition to PT/OT/Speech, my plan is to get Bob out on at least a couple of field trips a week so that he rebuilds new pathways to what he knows (appropriate social behaviors, money use, telling time, counting, reading) and also so he doesn't become reclusive. His physical disability doesn't seem to affect his outlook. He gets anxious about talking so I just ask him if he wants me to explain his condition (to waiters/others) and our communication system (YES, NO and Y/No which means No), talk slowly, short sentences, give lots of wait time.

He's pretty remarkable, if I say so myself, and I'm so lucky to be loved by him. I wish I could say this experience is a wonderful experience y'all should have. It isn't. It's very difficult and sad and tiring. But when we have those "Aha!" moments, and believe me, they are VERY REAL AHA moments, it's worth the time we spend together. And most of all, I'm just so happy that we're spending quality time together. So for those of you who think work is most important, I have a message for you . . . it isn't! The people you love are! Spend time now - quality time.

Warmly,

Sharon